Learning to lean: God’s control over fear and doubt
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
During the month of June, I had the unique opportunity to complete my student teaching experience at at a public school in Eastvale, Ca. I had never heard of this little city prior to the phone call I received on May 30,2013. I was to report to Eleanor Roosevelt High School the following Monday. My heart raced, my physical body sped into 5 th gear and I began to prepare myself for the month ahead. Logistically, it was difficult as I still had 2 weeks of teaching left at Bethel. So, with 2 days to scramble, I prepared sub lesson plans and found out as much as I could about Roosevelt High and directions to Eastvale. It would be a long (50 minutes) but smooth drive each morning at 6am.
Upon arriving that Monday, I realized that this would be quite the experience as I would have 55 students in each class, which lasted 3 hours, without any time for student breaks. I ended up in an art classroom where students had to sit on stools in table groups, constantly being distracted by everyone else around them.
Though the 4 weeks seemed to drag on, I now reflect and realize just how fortunate I was to get this opportunity. I learned more about classroom management than I ever really want to learn ever again (wishful thinking) and I learned much from my Master Teaching about planning and being flexible.
I learned that I can embrace the “uncomfortable” circumstances in life. Even though I generally live each moment wanting to “get through” the uncomfortable, I realize more and more that there is an OVERWHELMING increase in my faith and trust in my Savior as I learn to lean on HIM more, and seek HIM more. I was up every morning, earlier than I would have normally been, because I was sure to approach the day asking for HIS Spirit and wisdom and comfort and guidance (and trust me, I needed each one of those things on a second-by-second basis). Even now, I look back and realize how much less I seek HIM in the comfort of summer. Lord, may I remember how you covered me with mercy and grace in those days, and seek YOU like that, no matter what.
My husband was a tremendous support. There were many mornings when I had mental and emotional breakdowns, nearly refusing to leave. He ALWAYS supported me and had the EXACT thing I needed to hear. I do not know what I would have done without him, as he offered a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, and an ear to listen.
I learned that I have angels watching over me. I drove the 50 minutes there and back each day, for 20 days without any car problems. I listened to sermons, songs, and devoted time to prayer for others during this trip each day. WHAT A BLESSING!!!! I received texts, facebook messages, emails, and phone calls on a daily basis; God used these to reveal his care over me. I also was encouraged by my Vanguard family – my professor Sylvia Kane, my credential analyst Randee Loya and University Supervisor Mark Ryan, and other faculty like Michelle Romo, Shelley Vaters, and Rani Rommelfanger were right by my side, with positive encouragement.
I Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Casting all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.