Spoiler Alert – A look into my gift giving for this holiday season
I know….Christmas can’t be all about me, and I am working to make it something different, but I have a few things to really admit about my gift giving habits.
- I REALLY do NOT have a problem wearing a load of patience when I go out shopping for gifts. It’s my mantra…I will drive slowly, give other people their space, will plan on parking a mile from the store, will smile at those as I pass by, and will say thank you (by name) to all the cashiers, old and new, who don’t know all the ins and outs of the registers they are working.
- I know that others really enjoy the shopping and the giving and the looks on others’ faces when they see them open their gifts….they look forward with anticipation and pleasure
- I fully appreciate that my husband is generally a master shopper and giver…can take less than 2 days and just gets it done…and for the most part does a PERFECT job
- I enjoy the decorations I see and the music I hear when I am out looking for gifts BUT ……
- Giving gifts raises my anxiety levels….and I have a family history of heart problems, so this can’t be a good thing, right???
- Despite paying attention to people and spending quality time in conversation throughout the year, I really do not chose well….this has been a real embarrassment throughout the years…..just ask my husband and my father-in-law about robes and iced tea makers. Great intentions gone VERY BAD
- I can walk around a store 5-6 times, have a cart or armload of products after 30-40 minutes and then spend 5 minutes to quickly put them all back, leaving the store with nothing to show (except for perhaps something I found for myself, I have to admit…please don’t shake your head in shame)
I honestly contemplated this today as I passed by a couple of stores and simple drove on, not even wanting to go in because of the crowds driving around the parking lot. Why do I have such issues? It makes my holiday maddening and almost unenjoyable.
I reflected on the giving of gifts and how they are ultimately a reminder of the gift God gave to us through His perfect Son. How difficult it must have been to offer up His only Son, for us…people who are greatly undeserving. (and I think my job is hard)
I work to justify my lack of interest in the gift giving….my subconscious tells me my efforts will fail so why am I trying. I see how so many people are either so overly generous, how can I compete; or they give a small token that ends up so sentimental and special and fits the received party perfectly. I don’t feel I have that talent.
So, all this to say a brief warning to you out there who may receive something from me…or did not because I didn’t dare to try…I do think of you often. I work to send smiles….I look for words to encourage you….I deliver a message with written symbols instead of a glossy bow that is tied up intricately…I will sit across from you at lunch or dinner or coffee and do my best to listen to all that is going on with your life…..I know it’s not the same, but it’s MY way of GIVING
Oh, and don’t even get me started with the wrapping……